My new strategy

"Oh, my God!" I thundered aloud, not believing what I read.

I remembered now. Two weeks ago -- three days before Sean made his little announcement, I'd sent him an e-mail, no idea what was brewing in his mind, telling him where all the money was. All the retirement accounts, my bank accounts, the investments, phone numbers to all the firms along with the respective account numbers. By now, I must be ruined ... and today was Sunday, so I couldn't even find out until tomorrow morning, a long, long eighteen hours away.

I should've figured it out when Sean suggested we get married. Now I knew why he was so enthusiastic -- together five years as a couple, unmarried, and then all of a sudden, one month after I start working for Google and start earning all those stock options, he suggests we get married.  Now it's two years later and I've saved over two hundred grand in stock grants and bonuses -- money he'd never have saved. Sean could never save a nickle in his life -- too busy spending it on Caribbean cruises, botox lifts, trips to Total Wine -- not to mention his Xanax prescriptions. What was I thinking when I agreed to marry him? Alas, I'd been in love.

Time for a new strategy. Okay, I thought, I can call the banks' 800 numbers, see what my balances. One ring, two ring. On hold, enter your account number, what's your pin? Okay, my household bank account's in the clear. Next one: one ring, two ring ... on hold, account number, pin, etc. Okay, my 401(K) hasn't been raided. All there. What about the brokerage account? One ring, two rings, hold, account, pin, etc. In the clear! Okay, they're all okay. He hadn't taken a dime from me. Whew.

And yet, how could I trust him? After his admission that he'd been having an affair for six months, after he admitted that he'd become HIV positive with this other guy, didn't tell me and now I'm positive -- how could I trust him with anything? Gotta call the banks tomorrow, change the account numbers, cancel the credit cards, change all my passwords, account names, pins. And I thought I'd only have to worry about mending a broken heart ...