A couple

"Let's invite Joe and Daniel on Saturday, sweetheart," I said to Mike, "they'll make a great addition to the dinner party. With them that will round it out to an even eight -- the Franks, Brian and Theo, the two of us, and them. Just think -- dinner for eight at eight."

"But honey, are you sure? There's been so much tension between them these last several months that they're bound to bring the tone down a few notches. I don't think Frank and Frank will like it very much. Remember the episode at Carl's pool party Memorial Day weekend when Daniel threw the vodka tonic in Joe's face? Joe was flirting with the young Filipino boy and Daniel got mad at him."

"That's only because Daniel wanted him for himself, Mike. They're just like two old versions of Krystal and Alexis, battling it out over the latest hot and hunky stud muffin. Besides which, I don't think they're going to be ogling over any of us. Theo's the youngest of us and he's 47."

"All right, Jim," Mike said, "but remember, I warned you!"

"Thanks very much, Scarlett O'Hara. You don't think I remember where that line comes from? Beginning of the movie, when the Tarleton twins start talking about the war."

"My favorite part, except for Mammy's warning, 'You just get in trouble in Atlanta.' But what it is with Joe and Daniel anyway? Here it is, they've been compadres for how long, twenty-five years?"

"Twenty-six, but who's counting? The problem is that they know each other so well that they don't put up with anything from each other. Each knows what the other's thinking, what he's about to do, what's going on in his head. Must get boring after all.  You and I, darling," Jim said, taking a savory breath in, "we're still a mystery to each other and that's how I want it to remain. Stay mysterious and I'll still want to have sex with you all the time like I do. Eleven years we're together and you're still the hot one for me." Jim grabbed his crotch in mock seduction.

"Yeah, me and every other hairy muscular guy you know." Mike rolled his eyes.

"Well, back to Joe and Daniel. They're going through a phase here. You know, they're both pushing sixty. And I think it's finally dawned on them, after all the years of looking for boyfriends, that they're probably never going to find them. So they're stuck with each other. Look at them -- best friends for almost thirty years, and they still haven't come to their senses. Why don't they just get it over with and get married or something? That's my take on it."

"Sure makes sense to me. Funny how they never became a couple. Do you suppose they ever had sex together?"

"If they did, it was with a third they both couldn't do without. But they've sure had sex apart. Remember what a whore Joe was? He must've averaged three or four a week. Why, one time I remember he had sex in the steam room at the gym, then went home with someone else after the gym, and then picked up a trick at the bar later than same night. It's a wonder he's still alive!" Jim laughed ruefully.

"Well, he's a top and he's careful. But Daniel was no Mary Poppins, I can tell you that.  You know about how he and I met --"

"Enough about that. I don't want to hear it. Those sex contraptions are for perverts."

"Oh, all right. But just remember this. The two of them have been inseparable ever since just after then. Except for the fact that they live apart, send their Christmas cards separately, have sex with a gazillion other men all the time, they're about as much a couple as any of us is. So yeah, let's include them in the dinner party. Spice it up a little bit."

"Let's spice it up a lot, honey," Mike said, leading him into the bedroom. Eleven years and counting.