After Eden

Aaron and Caleb, attached to the hip ever since they'd met at the Salinas John Steinbeck festival 7 years ago, couldn't agree on the proper shade of exterior beige for their Noe Heights house. They'd drained themselves of energy trying to agree on decorating the interior, practically ripping out each other's hair and even sleeping in separate bedrooms for a short time. But Caleb eventually got horny and since beating off to Internet porn could only go so far, he'd climb into bed with Aaron and nudge him between the legs with his you know what.

"I'm just a hole to you!" Aaron would pretend to complain and Caleb would gain momentum. And size. Not to mention, the promise of great sex and another crest of their relationship cycle. Caleb poked and prodded, Aaron resisted, Caleb got pissed, Aaron said okay let's have sex, a week would pass, Caleb would poke and prod again.

Now they were bickering over the two shades of beige for their house on the hill above Noe Valley. Lilly would have none of it and told them so. Who cared if the color was Milano Ecru or Platinum Silk? No one except these two literary-decorator queens would ever tell the difference. She wondered how in the dickens two decorators -- especially Aaron, a mid-century modern fanatic, and Caleb, an art deco afficionado -- could ever live together, let alone agree on any one thing. It would work her last nerve, Lilly thought. And now here they were, making a federal case about two shades of beige you could barely tell apart. As if anyone walking down their San Francisco street would ever notice.


Lilly could walk around the apartment naked and she didn't have to worry about what anyone thought. She could read a book until 2 a.m. She could fart in her sleep. She could eat cereal for dinner and a box of raisins before bed. No one would nag her ...