The firehouse

Where in the name of Maria Ouspenskaya did Aaron plop down this time? The room was black and smelled of bad crotch, fizzy beer, sewer rats, and cigarette butts. Sweaty tank-topped men filled the room like a sardine can. They groped at his chest and grazed his hips. They talked in an Appalachian English that put him somewhere between Punxsutawny and Dubuque. Dear God, Aaron hoped he didn’t land in Punxsutawny. He hated Groundhogs’ Day.

The men were dressed in heavy jackets and jeans, at least those whose pants weren’t down around their ankles. Aaron could see better now that his pupils dilated. They all had beards. Was it a gay Paul Bunyan reunion? He didn’t mind traveling to a cliché gay locale back in the ‘70s. After he dumped Cindy, he lost interest in Jeffrey – and somehow found himself fantasizing about Joe Penny from the ‘80s Riptide. But these men – how else to explain the pocketed red scarves? Aaron gagged at the smell of cheap beer. He’d rather sit at Café Nervosa sharing lattes with Niles and Frasier Crane.

A short wiry type named Clayton came over and offered him a Rolling Rock, said he liked Aaron’s nose. Who likes people’s noses? And when he introduced himself, Clayton burst out laughing – “Aardvark, yeah right buddy. Total aardvark nose there. Hey fellas, listen to this guy, he’s got an aardvark nose.”

Aaron wanted to punch out Clayton’s face but held back. Why’d his family have to come from Slovenia and give him that name? For years he’d considered changing it to Aaron Avalon, but it didn’t flow off the tongue like Aaron Aardvark. But no, he just laughed along with this Midwestern idiot.

Then it hit Aaron, that’s why they transported him here. Part of the deal, once a month they choose where he’d land. He came here to warn them about the HIV crisis. So he picked up Clayton and went back to his place – a deserted firehouse, of all places – and enjoyed the romp, even if the mattress lay on the floor between kitty litter, a shotgun collection, and fire suits. But when Aaron warned Clayton about what was coming, all he got was a twisted smirk, get the hell out of my pad, don’t come the hell back.

Where were Niles and Frasier and their double lattes?