Fire

“Lester’s upside down, honey.”

“Yeah, so whaddaya want me to do about the damned dog?”

“Hey, just making light conversation, sweetie. Lighten up, bitch.”

“Who you callin’ a bitch, you bitch-slut?”

“Oh, yeah, well come on over here and prove it.”

“Not in front of Lester. He’s upside down.”

“And Snookems is on top of the Victorian collection.”

“Yeah, well Austen and Dickens can handle having a pussy lounging on top of ‘em.”

“Crude, sweetie.”

“Ain’t no gentleman in me when I talk about pussies, hon.”

“Don’t you ‘hon’ me, unless you intend to ...”

“Watch out – the pussy’s jumpin’ on top of Lester.”

“They’re just horsing around. Wait until Matilda gets at ‘em.”

“She’s one hell of a pussy – a lot more agile than Snookems.”

“Now don’t forget about Bossy Pants.”

“I didn’t. But seein’ as he’s thirteen, he’s allowed to sleep through the animal fights.”

“Nothin’ like an old dog.”

“Except for an old husband with a limp you-know-what.”

“Wasn’t limp, last time you poked it in me.”

“Crude.”

“Ain’t no gentleman in you, praise Jesus knows it’s true.”