In-laws

“All right,” Miss Tandy said. “Cards on the table. I know I fib a good deal. After all, a woman’s charm is fifty percent illusion –“

“How do I look?” Aaron said, coming from right stage center toward Miss Tandy and Mr. Brando, wearing a gold sequined over-the-shoulder gown with a leather sparkle vest. “I’ve always depended on the kindness of my in-laws.”

“What’s this all about, Aardvark?” Mr. Brando asked. “Elia, this isn’t in the script.”

“Okay, Aaron,” Mr. Kazan said from the blackness of the orchestra level. “Off the stage now. Once is amusing, twice is irritating, but this is damned irritating.”

“I just want to be in Streetcar!” Aaron said. “Can’t I at least have a cameo in Scene Three? You know, just before Stanley confronts Blanche about Belle Reve?”

“No,” Mr. Williams said, emerging from back stage. “My play is a work of art, a thing of beauty, a statue of impeccable form –“

Aaron rolled his eyes. “That’s exactly what you said about my schlong last night, Mr. Williams.”

“I repeat,” Mr. Kazan said, coming up the steps to stage left forward. “There will be no drag queen cameos. Mr. Aardvark, go sit in the audience. Otherwise I shall ask you to leave.”

“Oh, all right,” Aaron said. “But Mr. Williams, you get no action from me tonight.”

“Double drats,” Mr. Williams said.