Flying

Marshall put his luggage up in the overhead and took his seat. And then he got up to get his book, crossword puzzles, pen, and notebook from his backpack. And then he plopped them down on his seat. He reached into the seat pocket for Delta’s stupid little magazine, the instruction guide, the advertising brochure, and the puke bag. He grabbed them and put them in the overhead. And then he put his book, puzzles, pen, and notebook in the seat pocket and sat down.

Whew. It took a while to get settled. But no. And then Marshall got up to get his cellphone out of the backpack again. He put it into airplane mode and stuffed it into the seat pocket along with the book, puzzles, pen, and notebook. And then Marshall finally sat down.

But damn. He forgot his reading glasses. And then he got up again, reached into the backpack for his reading glasses and pulled out the case and sat down. And then he opened the case. Wrong glasses, these were his driving glasses. And then he got up again and exchanged them for the right glasses. So now, Marshall said, he could sit down and stay seated.

“Pardon me,” said a woman who looked just like Ruth Bader Ginsburg, “would you mind getting up? I’m sitting next to you.”

And then Marshall got up again to let the woman into the row. He was happy to let the woman in – petite enough, she wouldn’t occupy his space during the trip. And now, he could sit down and relax. But then Marshall felt his bladder. Damn this being fifty crap.

So Marshall got up and went to the back and, after a brief, “Better do this now before we take off” to one of the attendants, dashed into the lavatory. But when he soaped up his hands and turned on the water, nothing came out. Double damn. So he went back out and asked the flight attendant for a bottle of water to rinse off the soapy hands. And then Marshall went back to his seat and sat down.

And then a bony-shouldered man with thick black-framed glasses and a stray black hairs poking out of his shirt tapped him on the shoulder and said, my seat’s on the window, would you mind getting up.

Marshall rolled his eyes and sighed. “Of course.”

So he got up again. And so did the Justice Ginsburg woman. And then they all sat down.

Once they were all seated, the bony-shouldered guy said, “Oh, dear, I need to get my medications out of my suitcase. Would you mind ...”