Flying: backwards

Once they were all seated, the bony-shouldered guy said, “Oh, dear, I need to get my medications out of my suitcase. Would you mind ...”

And then they all sat down. And so did the Justice Ginsburg woman. So he got up again.

“Of course.” Marshall rolled his eyes and sighed.

And then a bony-shouldered man with thick black-framed glasses and stray black hairs poking out of his shirt tapped him on the shoulder and said, my seat’s on the window, would you mind getting up.

And then Marshall went back to his seat and sat down. So he went back out and asked the flight attendant for a bottle of water to rinse off the soapy hands. Double damn. But when he soaped up his hands and turned on the water, nothing came out. So Marshall got up and went to the back and, after a brief, “Better do this now before we take off” to one of the attendants, dashed into the lavatory.

Damn this being fifty crap. But then Marshall felt his bladder. And now, he could sit down and relax. He was happy to let the woman in – petite enough, she wouldn’t occupy his space during the trip. And then Marshall got up again to let the woman into the row.

“I’m sitting next to you. Pardon me,” said a woman who looked just like Ruth Bader Ginsburg, “would you mind getting up?”

So now, Marshall said, he could sit down and stay seated. And then he got up again and exchanged them for the right glasses. Wrong glasses, these were his driving glasses. And then he opened the case. And then he got up again, reached into the backpack for his reading glasses and pulled out the case and sat down. He forgot his reading glasses. But damn.

And then Marshall finally sat down. He put it into airplane mode and stuffed it into the seat pocket along with the book, puzzles, pen, and notebook. And then Marshall got up to get his cellphone out of the backpack again. But no. It took a while to get settled. Whew.

And then he put his book, puzzles, pen, and notebook in the seat pocket and sat down. He grabbed them and put them in the overhead. He reached into the seat pocket for Delta’s stupid little magazine, the instruction guide, the advertising brochure, and the puke bag. And then he plopped them down on his seat. And then he got up to get his book, crossword puzzles, pen, and notebook from his backpack. Marshall put his luggage up in the overhead and took his seat.