A trade-off

“If you come with me to break the fast,” David told Jim, “I’ll go with you to the circuit party next weekend.”

“Hmm, I’ll consider it. Would you empty the dishwasher during the week while I shower after the gym?”

“Only if you walk the dog in the morning,” David said.

“But if I walk the dog in the morning, then you’re going to have to come to my brother’s law school graduation next May. He’s earned it, David,” Jim said.

“Oh, all right, but only if you agree to cook your spaghetti dinner for Bubby. You know how she loves it, especially with those mushrooms and peppers.”

“That’s not spaghetti, that’s pasta primavera. And she always licks her fingers after that. You need to tell her to stop licking her fingers in front of me.”

“But if I do that, she’ll never speak to me again. So you’re going to have to be extra special nice to her. You know how she loves you!”

“Ah, yes, she’s a nice lady. But if I’m nice to her, then I can’t go with you to break the fast.”

“And then I’m not going to the circuit party …”

“And I won’t walk the dog …”

“And I’m not emptying the dishwasher …”

“Forget about going to your stupid brother’s graduation.”

“And you can kiss pasta primavera goodbye. As well as being super nice to Bubby.”

David ran out of anything to say.

Jim stood there silent – for a moment. “Wanna have sex instead?” he said.

“Okay. Last one naked has to take out the garbage.”

“Last one in bed has to clean up from dinner.”