On the sidewalk

East Hampton in summer, those languid Saturday afternoons after sunning ourselves on the south-facing ocean beach, walking up and down Main Street, the wide sidewalks with Polo, J. Crew Coach Tiffany Restoration Hardware St. John’s. Oh, how I remember breathing the summer air – cool, yet warm, dry, yet wet, quiet, yet buzzing, Los Angeles, yet New York, Steven Spielberg and Alec Baldwin – they came to Wayne’s funeral last year, you know. Alec was real sweet to me after the funeral, even sent me a mass card. Oh, how I miss Wayne …

Onward and forward, Mark. Don’t live in the past. Today is another day, you need to look at the present, don’t think about the dead, the gone, the before. Ross and Wayne have gone to the next world – give them peace, and learn how to say goodbye. They had their time, God knows, Ross made it to 86 and Wayne to 94.

But oh, my heartstrings yearning, how I wish Ross could’ve made it to 91 and Wayne to 96. Then I’d know … they only had a year left and we could make the most of it. We could do all those things we didn’t – like … like … like … well, maybe we did all the things we were going to do. Maybe time can’t stretch like we think it can. Maybe we just have to live, one instant at a time.

I walked into Dilley’s. I could use a bag of jelly beans. But Wayne was a diabetic – stomp on that thought, Mark, it doesn’t matter anymore.