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Middle River Press, Inc. of Oakland Park, FL is presently in the production stages of publishing "Agnes Limerick, Free and Independent," and it's expected to be available for purchase this winter 2013-2014.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

I have the urge

“As much as I like the eye candy, Peter, let’s go home.”

It’d been a long afternoon at the beach. We’d cruised hundreds of babes, strutted our narrow-waisted Speedos across the beach, and turned down invitation upon invitation to late-afternoon hotel boinks, but I wanted to head back to the condo for a swim in the pool and a glass of wine with my college buddy.

Besides which, he had globe shoulders, washboard abs, thunder pecs, and melon glutes and maybe “just friends” might go by the wayside. Today was turning out to be a man day … babes notwithstanding.

And I had to pee like a racehorse. We passed the Elbow Room, we passed the t-shirt shop, we passed the hamburger joint – customers only, and I didn’t feel like putting on my shirt. I still wanted to strut my stuff for the boys and the girls. Who knew when the wind would swing and it’d be girl day?

So I went into the yogurt shop and asked for the restroom. “Customers only.” I flashed my wallet and she unlocked the door for me. I rushed in and let the oceans of the world flow out … like the end of a war to let go of that. I got my obligatory yogurt – blueberry cheesecake, non-fat, absolutely a w f u l – and noticed the cashier’s curvy hips and balloon breasts.

“$3.28 please.”

“Here’s a fiver, keep the change.”

I gave her my stock look. “Slow afternoon, isn’t it?”

She liked that, so we went back to the bathroom. A very nice twenty minutes. Let’s just say it topped relieving myself. And then I went outside – damn, Peter had left. Must’ve lost patience. Oh, well. Sunset with the globe shoulders would have to wait.

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