Foreign

Aaron trotted out the time machine from Aunt Wilhelmina’s garage. He had a hard time getting it around the old Deusenberg. Why did his aunt feel the need for this old relic? She had the Rolls, she had an Aston-Martin, not to mention the rusty Chevette she allowed Aaron to drive, but only when he did her bidding.

He had to get away. Ah, yes – Bang, Bang, Bangladesh. He had a hankering for an inexpensive woman. Or maybe an inexpensive boy. Or perhaps both? Maybe he could find himself a taut Hermaphrodite, now that would be fun. So he fired up the time machine – fog came out the sides, it jiggled left to right, mist came down from the ceiling, and Aaron felt the usual pleasant vibrations in his sphincter. Better than good sex, male or female.

Two minutes later the fog cleared. He’d have his inexpensive prostitute in less than an hour – but no, this place freaked him out. Cobwebs everywhere, old Gothic architecture, coffins in the hallway, coffins in the dining room, spiders crawling out of the organ. And then out trotted Grandpa, Lily, Eddie – and Herman Munster.

“Damn that stupid time machine. I wanted a hermaphrodite. Not Herman Munster.”