A special offer

Last month I got a special offer from Amazon. Buy the entire DVD collection of the ‘80s classic, “Cheers.” And now I’m up to Season 4, you know, the one where Diane and Sam go for Round 2 of their immortal love match, to see which one will score the knock-out punch. Poor Sam and Diane, they never got it right.

There’s something about that show. Maybe because it premiered when the country was still recovering from the ‘70s. Looking at the theme, you still see those ’75 Ford Mavericks and ’78 Granadas driving down Beacon Street.

The Maverick is this almond green and the Granada is this rust brown. Super ugly by any standard. Hell, those cars are super ugly no matter which color's splashed on them. Who thought up those duds, the bastard child of Edsel Ford? Had to be someone. Even Mercury had its own versions – the Comet (twin of Maverick) and Monarch (twin of Granada) – and Lincoln had its Versailles, which was nothing more than a Granada in a tuxedo. And a cheap, powder-blue, wide-lapeled, polyester tuxedo at that.

But (quoting Sophia Petrillo) I digress. “Cheers” was a great show. It was one of my all-time favorites, right up there with “The Mary Tyler Moore Show,” “Frasier” (note to self: order this DVD collection for Christmas), “The Golden Girls,” and “The Patty Duke Show.” What, you ask – “The Patty Duke Show?” I wanted to make sure you were reading. I might’ve liked Patty Duke’s show when I was six, but I grew out of toddler-hood not long after that. No, for me fifth place would be tied between “Maude” and “Bewitched.” That’s right. I like women with power. Eat your heart out, Archie Bunker.

And does anyone still drive a Maverick? Last mention of a Maverick was in the ’08 campaign when John McCain was doing his maverick stuff and Sarah Palin was coo-cooing it. How quickly we forget. Someone sent me a picture of that almond green car with the caption, “Now THIS is a real maverick.” Like, whatever.

So I was talking to a colleague at work the other day, a 22-year-old super-smart over-achiever named Heather. I said she reminded me of Mary Tyler Moore from the show. And you know what, she asked me, “Who’s Mary Tyler Moore?” I looked in the mirror. Am I really that old, or is she just stupid?

Ted Danson is 68 this year. Shelley Long is 66.