Up and down

I won’t get an erection for at last a year. I’m sure of it, I’m just completely certain.

So we get to Key West and check into the bed and breakfast. Honey, what was the place you picked on the Internet? Something like The Open Door? Oh, yes, dear – that was it, it’s right here on the left. Park the car, sweetheart.

This morning we got our chairs early – they said at the registration desk, it’d be a busy weekend. Bone Island was the circuit event, didn’t know about that one – two porn stars visiting from Hollywood, they said. Oh, and did we tell you when you made the reservation, it’s an all-naked weekend? Clothing is not optional. It’s forbidden.

So we sit around the pool all day long, watching one cock chase another. All afternoon. With the gray-beared muscle guys walking around the pool all afternoon, bouncing left and right,I think the Viagra supply’s dried up in Key West. How many sixty-year-old men do you know who can parade around at full mast for an hour in front of fifty pairs of critical eyes?

And then there was the lovey-dovey couple from Baltimore (that’s what I heard, they’re from Baltimore) doing blow jobs on the side of the pool. And then the four guys at the pool’s entrance, raising their swords like at a military wedding.

Sometimes a little too much of a good thing is a little too much of a good thing. I won’t get an erection for at least a year.