This is the story of my birth

“Aaron Aardvark,” Master Solomon said, shaking his head slowly, “if you insist, then we shall have to allow it. But we are entirely against this idea and must go on record. Are you willing to risk this?”

“I am,” Aaron said. He just had to see it – so off he went, back to Aunt Wilhelmina’s estate and down the stairs to the garage, but not before shredding his gym clothes, frolicking with Jeffrey in the bathtub, humping Cindy on the kitchen table, and showering.

He got in the machine, pushed the Start button, turned the dial once to the left. Smoke poured out of the jalopy, it jumped up and down, and that thin mist he’d come to expect descended over him. And then he sped backward with a white laser of light, felt the weightless swoosh of flying, and descended with a jolt.

The machine had parked itself at Divisadero and Polk, and he saw it right in front of him – U.C.S.F. Hospital. He looked left, then right. A ’78 Buick Electra in front of him, an ’81 Olds Toronado, a ’76 Datsun B-210, and a ’71 Plymouth Valiant. Perfect – he’d landed at the right time. He looked at the sky – sunny and clear. Yes, it was October in San Francisco, 1983.

He walked into the hospital and up to the maternity ward. There they were – waiting.

“Austin,” Aunt Wilhelmina said, her face smoothed of its wrinkles, her figure tighter and more smooth – menopause would not yet have struck – “take your head out of that book and pay attention. Now that you’re having a baby, you need to move out of the Haight and buy a house over near me.”

Austin looked up from his book, The Coming P.C. Revolution, his hair still long, still wearing tie-dyed shirts, loose jeans, and flip-flops. “Not a chance, Willa, those honky snobs can kiss my –“

A doctor walked into the room, “Mr. Aardvark, you have a son, come with me –“

Aaron followed his father out of the room and into the maternity ward. But when he opened the door, he was transported to a burning city, barefoot soldiers in gray carrying rifles –

“Damn the machine, it’s screwed up again.”