“Oy, my stars,” Rhoda exclaimed on her way back from walking Lily and Zorro, peeking in her condo neighbors’ window just after dinnertime. Jim waltzed around the apartment in the nude, holding a toothbrush in one hand and perching the parrot on his other. And Mike sat in the love seat swiping his fingers over the iPad.
Rhoda squinted to focus and saw it. She just knew it! He was surfing gay male porn. Oh, those sluts. But who was she to comment? Here she was on her way to Husband Number Five, and boy – what a great one he was turning out to be. And how lucky, Norman lived right here in the same building. On a penthouse floor, no less!
Rhoda peeked a little further. He didn’t think they’d notice. Light inside, dark outside, how could they? So she just watched the little evening drama unfold. Jim turned to Mike and leaned forward, saying something. Probably a nag. He had that reputation in the building, you know. He leaned even more forward, pushing the hand with the parrot out even further.
Ah, yes – he wanted Mike to take the parrot. Jim’s face got a little red. Was he post-shower or pre-shower? Obviously one or the other, Rhoda thought – the bathroom light was on, bright as the sun, and a bath towel hung over the door.
“How tacky!” Rhoda said aloud. Even if Jim had been the most discreet board member, he sure did have a lot of tacky moments like this. Like being naked with a toothbrush.
“What’s that, Rhoda?” Joel said, walking toward her from the elevator. Rhoda practically jumped out of her skin – a major feat, given all her facelifts – but she just shook her head, said nothing, and walked Lily and Zorro back to her own apartment.
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