Skin

Okay, Jack. It’s 6 a.m. at the condo. This morning you’ll take your shower – first thing, no delay, no putzing around he house, no coffee in the coffee maker, no emptying the dishwasher, no cleaning out the birdcage, no de-pooping the litterbox, no walking the dog, no daily write, no checking in with your work e-mail … just a shower, first thing in the morning. Jack, it’ll wake you up – he tells himself.

Jack gets out of bed and heads into the living room, doesn’t bother to put anything on since first thing he’ll do is a shower. Woops, Jack tells himself, I forgot to fold that load of towels last night. So he opens the dryer door, folds the towels and puts them away. Last one, the kitchen hand towel. And those clean dishes in the drain pan – got to put them away, one at a time. Might as well empty the dishes at the same time. Don’t forget to put the doggy bowl down for Trouble – who stands their wagging his tail.

“All right, Trouble, I’ll feed you. But first, Daddy’s got to clean the birdcage and litter box.”

Twenty minutes later, the pets are cleaned up and fed. Trouble ate it right up, now he wants to go outside. “But not until I empty the wastebaskets and the garbage.”

You know, Jack says aloud, I might as well eat breakfast before I shower. I can brush my teeth in the shower. And you know what, use your time wisely, Jack, so eat breakfast in front of the laptop. And do that daily write, and check your work e-mail.

An hour later, all that done. So finally Jack can head into the shower. What’s that smell? Forgot to put the garbage outside the condo door, will throw it down the shute when I walk Trouble, Jack says. Outside he goes with the garbage.

Sarah walks by with her shih tzu, looks down, and raises her Republican eyebrows. Woops, Jack tells himself, forgot to put anything on. “Excuse me, Sarah. So sorry …”

“That’s all right, Jack, I’ve seen it before. Many times," she says, a shrug in her voice. "And by the way, I'd try a different hair dye."