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Middle River Press, Inc. of Oakland Park, FL is presently in the production stages of publishing "Agnes Limerick, Free and Independent," and it's expected to be available for purchase this winter 2013-2014.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

It makes me mad

We tread water in the deep end of the pool. Six of us were getting our lifeguard certifications that summer. We were at the age when you just couldn’t wait to get your pubic hairs. Well, one of the six had gotten his pubic hairs. He’d grown taller and had curvy biceps, a tight stomach, big chest with quarter-sized nipples and a bubble butt I really liked. Norman said hello to me before that day’s session in the locker room. He was changing out of a jock strap and into his Speedo when I noticed the wet hair on his legs.

For the endurance part of our certification we all had to tread water for ten minutes. After five minutes someone came up behind me and dunked me down into the water. Down I went but right back up I came. Then I got dunked a second time. Down I went but right back up I came. Everyone laugh. Even Jan laughed and I’d thought she was my friend. Then I turned around and Norman treaded water right behind me.

“Wasn’t me, little Jimmy Wood.”

Norman made out with his girlfriend on the sidewalk I had to walk by for my mother to pick me up. Norman lived in the nicest neighborhood of Penn Hills. Norman’s father always held the gun at swim meets and said on your mark, get set, bang. Norman did lots of bad things to me that summer, and lots of other summers.

It made me mad so I put a curse on him. His father got arrested and went to jail on embezzlement charges. His mother got a divorce and they sold their ritzy house. Norman became the school’s biggest drug dealer and got into a lot of trouble. I’m not mad anymore.

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