Norman Balmoral: I can't do it

The damned light fixture wouldn't screw into the ceiling. He'd screwed it in too hard and it had stripped the inside lining of the screw. And he had no screws. And it was Saturday afternoon at 4:45 p.m. There was no way he could get to the hardware store before 5:00 p.m. and buy some new screws. He just had to get the bathroom fixture completed before his parents retired for the evening after dinner. He'd promised them he'd get it done, and Norman never let his parents down. Come to think of it, he'd never let anyone down -- not his parents, his brother, his teachers, even the women he'd bedded in Florence during his year abroad. But no one knew about those women here in America. That was a secret he kept entirely to himself. He'd never tell Agnes, either -- if their relationship went anywhere.


Mother and Dad were sitting in the parlor room, having their ritual tea and scones. They'd know something was wrong if he tippy-toed out and ran across the street. But it had to be risked. He'd have to make up a lie, anything would do -- they trusted him implicitly. They didn't know, or at least not yet, that he frequently told white lies when it was convenient. It always bothered Norman that he lied to his parents and to his brother, but there it was. No real harm had ever come of it. So Norman snuck down the stairs, told his parents he was heading over to the general store to get a soda. Mr. Soltham would be there. Hopefully, he wouldn't tattle on Norman, though he was always curious and snoopy. Maybe he could get by Mr. Soltham's pince-nez gaze without him even noticing that he was raiding the box of screws. Of course, Norman would have to inventory the screws he took -- but that wasn't a problem. Norman did the inventory and balanced the books himself, ever since he lost his architect's job at Smith and Weisskopf. Damn the Depression and damn Herbert Hoover!


"Mother, Dad, I'm heading across the street for a chocolate soda. Would you like anything from the store?"


They looked at each other, the expression on their faces plain to Norman. They were thinking, "why doesn't Norman just have tea and scones? Young people today, after all!" Norman chose to pretend he didn't understand their glances, made his excuses, and went out the door. He had to get those screws. He couldn't let his parents down.